This is week four of spiritual lies and truths we often experience after pregnancy loss. This is the final week of sharing daily videos on Tiktok, Instagram, and Facebook regarding pregnancy loss as part of this series I’m doing for Pregnancy loss awareness month. For each day of the month I have addressed spiritual lies we can begin to believe after miscarriage or stillbirth and where God’s truth is located within them. So far I have shared 31 out of 31 days; this past week I covered the following 8 topics:
- The lie that God causes pregnancy loss
- The lie that God has forgotten you
- The lie that everyone is getting what they want but you
- The lie that we can go back to our old self after pregnancy loss
- The lie that addressing your anger at God stops him from hearing your prayers
- The lie that miscarriage is caused by spiritual weakness
- The lie that my partner doesn’t feel anything because they didn’t go through the physical part of miscarriage.
- The lie that in order to have hope, we have to feel it. Otherwise, we can’t access hope.
If you would like to see these videos every day, I invite you to click on the links on the side of this page to follow me on Tik Tok, Instagram, or Facebook. I also invite you to follow me on YouTube where I will be sharing a compilation of all the TikToks as well as going into more detail in separate videos. Let’s go through each lie and look at where the truth is all of this.
Addressing The Lie That God Causes Pregnancy Loss
The spiritual lie that God causes pregnancy loss can be easy to believe. God does not cause us to lose our babies. In fact, he protects them with assigned angels from conception on.
The truth is that we live in a fallen world where the enemy wishes to harm us generationally. Through these losses, God is drawing us near to him, to release healing and show us how to help others according to his will.
The Lie That God Has Forgotten You
Don’t believe the lie that God has forgotten you after pregnancy loss. It can certainly feel this way, especially in the rawest part of grief. The truth is, he sees you and has never left you alone.
The Lie That Everyone Is Getting What They Want From God But You
It’s so easy to start to believe that everyone is getting what they want but us after pregnancy loss. The truth is, we’re all going through something that is stretching our faith. By confronting this lie with God and choosing to connect with others, we see that everyone is going or has gone through something difficult.
The Lie That We Can Go Back To Our Old Self After Pregnancy Loss
Sometimes we can believe the spiritual lie that we can go back to the way things were after pregnancy loss. The truth is, there is no going back once you lose a baby. The only way to move is forward is to allow God to rebuild, repair, revive, and restore you. I can’t tell you that it’s not always fun and the process isn’t always pretty but it’s worth it to press into God and receive his healing.
The Lie That Addressing/Feeling Anger At God Stops Him From Hearing Your Prayers
I will continue to say this until I’m blue in the face, we all handle anger within grief differently after pregnancy loss. Some start to feel angry at God and believe the lie that it means he can’t hear our prayers.
Obviously, being angry at God isn’t a good thing. Even when we pull away from God, he is always nearby and continually speaks. God is so merciful and faithful in his word and promises to us. The truth is, God isn’t put off by our honesty. The only way to move through anger is to acknowledge how you’re feeling and eventually release it. Instead of lying to yourself or others about how you feel, turn to God and address it with him directly.
Yes, you can still talk to God when you’re mad at him, he can take it.
The Lie That Spiritual Weakness Causes Pregnancy Loss
After experiencing multiple miscarriages, I’ve come across the lie insinuated by some Christians unfortunately, that miscarriage is a sign of spiritual weakness. I’m honestly still baffled by this one because some of the strongest women I know have babies in heaven. I believe this lie is rooted in the spirit of religion, which tells us we can control what happens to us if we do everything we’re supposed to do for God perfectly.
The truth is, we do not have control over what happens to our children, or really anything for that matter. It’s an illusion that helps us sleep at night, a confidence rooted in our own self abilities, not God. Don’t let this lie sneak in and have you wondering what you did or didn’t do to cause this pregnancy loss. Full submission to God’s authority and trust in Jesus is what will break you free from this lie taking root.
The Lie That My Partner Doesn’t Feel Anything Because They Didn’t Go Through The Physical Part Of Miscarriage
The lie that our partners don’t experience grief or loss is pretty common, unfortunately. As spouses or partners, they don’t carry the baby or experience the physical miscarriage or stillbirth, which can lead us to assume they don’t feel anything when this happens. I think the truth is they feel the pain too, but express it differently. I also think that some partners are less connected to us or the pregnancy in addition to their own emotions which can lead to further disconnection for you both after pregnancy loss. The blanket statement that men for example, simply don’t experience trauma or grief after losing their baby is just not true.
My husband was very much present during both miscarriages. Micah was attentive to my every need during the three day hospital stay after my water broke due to incompetent cervix with our daughter Jacqueline. He was present during labor and helped me through it all. He held our daughter the whole time I was in emergency surgery after labor and had that time with her alone. Although we lost our second child Ezra earlier in the first trimester, the incomplete miscarriage became dangerous, which required an emergency d & c. As my hemoglobin dropped to a nine due to the negligence of the ER doctor, Micah continued to change the padding used to soak up the blood and removed the massive blood clots from me because I could barely speak, let alone change my padding. It was a rough experience for him to say the least. My grief looked different than his and that’s okay. Micah processes through his grief in different ways than I do but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel anything or didn’t also have his own traumatic experience of miscarriage and stillbirth.
I certainly don’t speak for everyone in this area but I do think losses like these can easily cause disconnection between couples. If you feel yourself pulling away from your partner or feel your partner disconnecting from you and you both cannot find a way to communicate your needs, contacting a licensed therapist might be the best thing for you both.
The Lie that In Order To Have Hope, We Have To Feel It. Otherwise, We Can’t Access Hope
Contrary to popular belief, we don’t wake up one day and suddenly feel like having hope. Hope is the byproduct of enduring trials or hardships through faith in Jesus. We do not start with hope, we start with faith. I love the many scriptures that speak about hope but I always remind myself with Romans 5:1-5 how we really begin to hope in the midst of seemingly impossible circumstances.
Our faith in Jesus transfers God’s righteousness to us and he now declares us flawless in his eyes. This means we can now enjoy true and lasting peace with God, all because of what our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One, has done for us. 2 Our faith guarantees us permanent access into this marvelous kindness that has given us a perfect relationship with God. What incredible joy bursts forth within us as we keep on celebrating our hope of experiencing God’s glory!
3 But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. 4 And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. 5 And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us!Romans 5:1-5 TPT
Once we begin to understand the process of enduring through trials and how that builds our character and leads to hope, we can see that it’s really a faith issue not an emotional issue. Declaring our faith and eventual hope for the future based on what God has spoken before it comes to pass is absolute key to ushering in God’s promises in our lives. We can’t wait until we see God move to declare his miracles because that is not how faith moves God. the longer we endure with God, the more we begin to submit to his ways of teaching and healing us in the waiting. This is how we learn to have chronic hope throughout life, no matter our circumstances.
If you’ve struggled with having hope after pregnancy loss, don’t feel bad. I think a lot of people have experienced this and it is something that can be remedied with God. It can feel downright impossible to have hope after miscarriage and stillbirth and that’s because if hope is based on your emotions alone, it has no foundation of faith to support it through tough seasons. If you don’t know where to start, my advice is to locate what you know to be true about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit first and build from there. As your faith grows with time and throughout tough seasons, you will begin to understand what it means to have chronic hope in God.
I’m Interested In Hearing From You
Have you battled any of these spiritual lies after pregnancy loss? If so, feel free to share your experiences and how God brought you through it, or where you’re at in your walk with God.
As always I invite you to join this community to talk and share about pregnancy loss as well as chronic illness and conditions, our faith, church hurt, and our spiritual journey through it all. I’ll be sharing all the weekly YouTube videos dedicated to this series soon on the blog, but you can also subscribe to my channel and view them immediately here at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9x1-ZI1kIP9T4NXQ3ximBA.
I look forward to hearing from you and appreciate your support, take care.