This is week three of spiritual lies and truths we experience after pregnancy loss. I’ve continued sharing daily videos on Tiktok, Instagram, and Facebook regarding pregnancy loss as part of the series I’m doing for Pregnancy loss awareness month. For each day of the month I address spiritual lies we can begin to believe after miscarriage or stillbirth and where God’s truth is located within them. So far I have shared 23 out of 31 days; this past week I covered the following 7 topics:
- The lie that seeking help from a therapist is weakness or shows a lack of faith
- The lie that pregnancy loss is a punishment from God
- The lie that others believed harder than you and that’s why they didn’t have a miscarriage
- The lie that being angry with God means we have a lack of faith
- The lie that we need to rush through the grieving process
- The lie that our worth is in what our body can do for us
- The lie that minimizing our pain will help it go away
If you would like to see these videos every day, I invite you to click on the links on the side of this page to follow me on Tik Tok, Instagram, or Facebook. I also invite you to follow me on YouTube where I will be sharing a compilation of all the TikToks as well as going into more detail in separate videos. Let’s go through each lie and look at where the truth is all of this.
The lie that seeking help from a therapist is weakness or shows a lack of faith
Please don’t believe the lie that seeking out therapy means you’re weak or have a lack of faith. The truth is, it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. If you’re struggling postpartum, seek help from a licensed professional; it could very well save your life.
The lie that pregnancy loss is a punishment from God
Pregnancy loss is not a punishment from God. Seeking God is so important as we grieve and process our pain, especially when we think something like this.
If you’re struggling with this lie, it might also be a good idea to check in with your pastor, trusted friends, or a therapist. Sometimes it helps to sort our thoughts with others to see where God’s truth is located. The bottom line is, miscarriage and stillbirth are out of our control and not a punishment from God.
The lie that others believed harder than you and that’s why they didn’t have a miscarriage
It’s a slippery slope to compare your faith to another person’s faith. Don’t believe the lie that others believed harder for a healthy baby, which is why you lost your baby and they didn’t.
The truth is, God has called and graced us to walk this out with Him. We don’t all experience the same hardships and it’s not due to a lack of faith. If you start feeling this way, confront it head on with God. Remind yourself that we each have a different assignment, therefore we cannot compare our tragedy with someone else’s miracle.
The lie that being angry with God means we have a lack of faith
We all handle anger within grief differently after pregnancy loss. Some can start to feel angry at God and believe the lie that it means they have a lack of faith.
Obviously, being angry at God isn’t a good thing. Who knows, maybe you do have unbelief that’s causing your anger but know it isn’t an automatic truth for everyone. The only way to move through anger is to acknowledge how you’re feeling and eventually release it. Instead of lying to yourself or others about how you feel, turn to God and address it with him directly.
Yes, you can still talk to God when you’re mad at him, he can take it.
The lie that we need to rush through the grieving process
Sometimes we can feel outside pressure from others, or ourself, to rush the grieving process after pregnancy loss. It can be easy to believe the lie that we can outrun grief.
The truth is, grief is not a linear process that we can outsmart or rush to finish. It will take longer to process if you don’t allow yourself time and space to heal.
The lie that our worth is in what our body can do for us
Believing the lie that your worth is in what your body can do for you is dangerous. Our worth and identity, has to be rooted in God’s truth that we are his child first above all. It’s so difficult to combat this lie because we’re often given a message in society that our worth is in being able to get pregnant, become mothers, and basically do it all. If we fail at having a career but become a parent with living children, we’re told it’s not enough and we should have a career too. If we attempt to do both, have children and a career, we’re told we’re selfish and should stay home. If we can’t get pregnant or have miscarriages or stillbirths, we’re told we’re not woman enough or that we’re useless because our bodies can’t do what others can. We have to locate God’s truth in all of this in order to understand how he wants us to further his kingdom. Who does God say we are and what our worth is in his kingdom? What is it that God is asking you to do for him?
Instinctively a lot of us understand that we will never live up to impossible standards or expectations of man outside of God but many get caught up in what others think. We all can fall into this trap, especially when we’re younger, although we can be affected t any age. It doesn’t matter what someone else is expecting of you, what does God expect of you? Where does God say your worth is located? The truth is, God is the father and we are his children. Faith in Him through Jesus is key to combating this lie. It seems rudimentary, but it is easy to forget this truth and allow other influences to come in and convince us our worth should be in something else, like motherhood.
The lie that minimizing our pain will help it go away
After pregnancy loss, we can easily believe the lie that because others have had it worse, we shouldn’t feel so bad about our loss. The example I give in the full video is when we look to others who have lost their older children versus experiencing a stillbirth or early miscarriage.
Sometimes, we want to avoid the pain and think that by minimizing what we just experienced, it will somehow lessen the grieving process.
It’s okay to recognize that there are others going through harder times, but it doesn’t cancel out what you’re going through. The truth is, we can’t compare our pain to others. It’s important to hold space for God and to allow ourselves to grieve. This is how we heal.
I’m Interested in Hearing From You Too
Have you battled any of these spiritual lies after pregnancy loss? If so, feel free to share your experiences and how God brought you through it, or where you’re at in your walk with God.
As always I invite you to join this community to talk and share about pregnancy loss as well as chronic illness and conditions, our faith, church hurt, and our spiritual journey through it all. I’ll be sharing the weekly YouTube videos soon on the blog, but you can subscribe to my channel and view them immediately here at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9x1-ZI1kIP9T4NXQ3ximBA.
I look forward to hearing from you, take care.