There have been a lot of changes for us recently. First thing’s first, I left my job.
Before I get to that, I want to clarify a few things. By working there, I learned about the administrative side of counseling that no one talks about. This information is so crucial because no one tells you about all the hoops you’ll have to jump through in order to make the dream come true. Although I left just shy of a year of working there, I’m so thankful for the information and wonderful people I met.
Typically, I’m a person who enjoys working and earning money for my family. I can usually stay at a high-stress job for 3 years or so before I feel a huge push to leave. However, as time went on working there, I felt more and more of a push to quit and I hadn’t even hit the 1 year mark. To be fair, the stress at this job was extremely high. I began to have doubts about myself. Why can’t I stick it out? This is the first job that really opened doors for me in the counseling field and I already want to leave. What’s wrong with me?
The truth is our marriage was starting to suffer. Financially we were comfortable and doing quite well. But honestly, I was constantly stressed and exhausted. To make things worse, I had extreme anxiety about going into work every day. Anxiety= horrible TMJD symptoms. If you don’t know what TMJD is consider yourself lucky. This started to take a huge toll on our marriage and made me question if my job was helping or actually hurting us. Come to think of it, I’ve been having a lot of physical issues that I’m looking into, but that’s a post for another day.
I had a choice to make. Do I give into the pressure and stay in order to make money? Do I decide to value our marriage, my sanity, and my health over money? I could have found another job instead of quitting altogether but it didn’t feel right.
I chose us.
I had people telling me to just get another job because the financial strain of starting a family in a few years would be too much to bear. I also had people question my intention to pursue a career in counseling. Ya know, I thought about those things and a hundred other financial scenarios that could arise. Lets not forget that I’m an analytical person that considers all the options before making a huge decision. I am fully aware that making money vs. not making money greatly helps my family financially. But it was also hurting our family. For me, it is more important to invest in our marriage than our bank account. Sometimes you have to trust what God is nudging you to do.
The truth is I trust that God will take care of us.
These years we have together are so important. We decided to wait to have children because we want to give them the best chance possible. In order to do that, I feel that we need to take this time to enjoy one another and to continue to work on our relationship. I am in no way saying that a woman can’t work and have a wonderful marriage. I’m saying that I seem to have issues balancing the two, especially with these other health issues looming in the darkness.
In addition to taking care of my husband, the house, dogs and cats, I’ll still be painting and distressing furniture to sell at a local consignment shop as well as selling items on ebay. I just won’t have a traditional job. I refuse to live in fear not trusting that God will provide for us. I’m still planning on pursuing a career as a clinical mental health counselor, whether that be now or later in life. If for some reason I have to go back to a traditional job, I will. But I’m not afraid.
We have a wonderful marriage but it is important to remember, it takes work to maintain wonderful. It is also important to remember that it’s worth it! I’m so thankful for a husband that has supported me throughout this transition. There may be some huge changes for us in the near future that I’m not at liberty to discuss just yet. We would appreciate any prayers or good vibes that you have to offer.
Just remember, sometimes we’re being asked to do something that we may not understand at the moment but God is revealing it to us little by little.
A Touch of Flourish 