The Prospect of Having Children

One of the first questions we were asked after we got engaged was, “when are you having kids?” Whoa wait a minute, who said anything about having kids? It’s so funny because the question wasn’t if we wanted to have kids but more a question of when. Anyone who knows me is aware that I’m not jumping up and down to hold someone’s baby. Let me be clear, it’s not that I don’t think they’re cute or sweet; I just don’t want vomit or poo on my shirt.

So we can agree, babies can be cute, but I’m not ready to give up my independence just yet. Just the thought of having a baby scares me for many different reasons. For starters, I’m not a fan of where babies come out of the female body. I’m just saying, it doesn’t look too appealing to me. Yes, mothers all over the world will tell you that it is totally worth destroying your body in order to bring a human being into the world, but still. Also, I can’t imagine the responsibility of raising a child. I’ve never understood how some people shrug off the importance and responsibility that comes with a baby. I understand that these thoughts are common, but you have to understand that I worry, a lot. I mean, it’s all good when you have people helping you out, but what happens when your family members have to go back to work and you’re left at home with the baby? What if it stops breathing or starts choking? OMG I cannot even imagine the horror.

I realize I’m being a little dramatic but I’m trying to explain that I am not ready to have a child. I’ve found that some women do not understand my viewpoint and personally believe that their mission in life is to pop out babies as soon as they can trap a man (because that example wasn’t specific or anythingJ). Don’t get me wrong, if you decide that having a lot of children is your thing, then good for you! It takes a special kind of person to be able to have more than one child, but it’s not meant for everyone. I don’t think we should accuse someone of being any less of a “woman” just because she chooses to wait a little longer to have a baby or because she chooses not to have one at all.

I’ve actually had someone say that I must not have the “maternal” instinct if I don’t go crazy over a baby or because I really don’t want to have that responsibility right now. So, because I don’t want to hold your baby, I value spending time with Micah and want to build a stronger relationship with him, I’m less of a woman? I don’t think so ladies.

I feel a lot of people romanticize being in relationships, getting married, and having kids. The reality is that we’re so busy dreaming about how wonderful and perfect things could be that we forget that the road to getting there is usually much more difficult. I think being a mom will be awesome but I’m not ignorant to the challenges that come with being a parent; anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.With that being said, I’ve recently been thinking about the prospect of having a child (I know, it scares me too). I was on Pinterest looking at posts from different friends, when I decided to take a peek at baby info that was posted. As I was reading, I experienced a calming feeling. The feeling was so strong that all of my anxiety about having a child disappeared. I was so weirded out by the “calmness” that I told Micah about it. Of course he looked at me like I was crazy, but agreed that it was definitely weird. Obviously, I believe it was an act of God. Trust me; there is NO WAY all of my anxiety would just go away without the intervention of God. Needless to say, I still don’t want to have a child tomorrow, but I am definitely excited for the future. In the meantime, I’m 100% ready for a puppy. Does that still count?


Photo Courtesy of Wikipedia


2 thoughts on “The Prospect of Having Children

  1. I think it is great that you realize you might want them one day but aren’t ready yet. There is nothing wrong with waiting. As newlyweds, Micah and you still need to spend time figuring out how you work as a married couple. If you never decide you are ready to be a mom there is nothing wrong with that, don’t let anyone make you feel bad. Parenting is a choice for each couple and if you choose to have children that is great, if you choose not to then that is great also. Everyone wants different things. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad because your choice is not the same they made.


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